Patience, patience, where can I find it? Especially during my busy, stressful and tiring days? Yes, I know my behavior affects everyone else, but sometimes it’s just so hard finding patience 🙁

One-Time Deal: Selling 4 pounds of patience.
Who wants it? Me!!!

Monica.
Here’s a great story I  found online and wish I knew who to give credit to:
A man was walking behind a woman and child in the supermarket, the little girl was sitting in the shopping cart. When the mother and daughter pass through the snack foods isle, the child demanded a snack and the mother said “NO!” Of course then the little girl started crying and whining out loud, but the mother kept her cool and just said quietly “OK Monica, We only have a little bit more snack shelves, we will be done here very soon, don’t get upset, just a little bit”

They finished at the snack isle and moved on, in a few minutes they arrived to the line of candy filled shelves. The little girl changed course and started yelling, demanding candy as she goes. The mother refused. The little girl started kicking the shopping cart and pitching a fit, but the mother never lost her cool and said: “Stop it Monica, stop, don’t get upset, we don’t have much left. Only two more isles and we are done here. Be patient, just a little more”. When they arrived to the cash register, the little girl found some colorful gum she could still use as a bargaining tool. The mother said no to that too, and the little girl began screaming and crying at the top of her lungs, and the mother? she continued saying in a calm and quiet voice: “Monica, Don’t get upset. We are about to be done here. 5 minutes and we are out of here. Then we go home, relax, get settled and you could get that so needed rest you deserve”. The mother finished paying and left the supermarket towards her car. The man stepped outside with them was a witness to all of the events at the store, caught up to her and said excitingly “Excuse me Maam, I couldn’t help but notice how you kept your cool back there. I have to compliment the inspiring way you acted with little Monica”. The mother smiled and said “Thank you dear sir, but the little one’s name is daisy, I am Monica” :))

Wonderful Story, The Message… Well A little less
I love this funny story especially because it presents a different and funny perspective. But as much as I like it, I have a difficulty understanding the message:
Is it that the mother understands that this is her fate, her ending of a long day, and all she can do is take a few deep breathes, calm herself down and it will pass?
The problem with this kind of attitude is that it encourages repetitiveness, and the bitter truth proves these kind of situations repeat themselves if not dealt with – and unfortunately, they never go away on their own, on the contrary, they get worse and worse. Bummer.
So yes, adapting patience is a useful attribute, especially with crisis management, leading procedures, dealing with dilemmas, bridging, compromising, and every other complex task that a mother deals with on a daily basis, and all year long. But patience isn’t beneficial when it ignores the root of the problem.

So what would you suggest if you met sweet Monica?
What if we offer her a negotiation? A preliminary move before going into the super-market. And maybe we suggest that little daisy gets a vote? Once a week? Once a month? And from the variety of food options not considered poison or just filled with sugar? How about exchanging patience with something else? Humor? Game? Distraction? Parental Authority? This way or another, eventually, Every idea seems much more beneficial then ignoring the problem and gathering up a bit of patience.
And if you feel like trying and implementing one of my methods, you might like reading this post, that deals with the surprising combo of tenderness and firmness, between parental authority and containment.

And yes, although and despite what I said:
If any of you have 4 pounds of patience for sale – I’m buying!

Love,
Dafnis

 

 

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