And how for god’s sake do you get out of the competitive materialistic circle surrounding us every which way we go without turning my kids into the outcasts and freaks of their environment?
A few years ago I was talking with a mother who was complaining about a certain show she took her daughter to’ she was complaining about Poor quality, Shallow messages, Provocative costume design by the main stars of the show and a ticket price that cost a fortune. Innocently enough I asked her: “Then why the hell did you take her to a show like that?” The answer was: “So she won’t become the freak!”
“You see” the concerned mother added “My daughter isn’t Ms. Popularity as it is, So what happens if out of all the girls in her class she will be the only one who couldn’t make the show and they’re all going to be talking about the show after on Whatsapp, mimicking the stars of the show and my daughter would be the only one left out? Where would it put her exactly?” Faith may have it and one month later, I attended about a dozen conversations, of course, about the alleged show. And guess what? Surprise! Almost all mothers had the same thoughts exactly like that first mother I spoke to! But none of them dared to stop the wave, none of them decided to be the first to tell her daughter “We’re not going” (And on the same level we are not buying useless stuff, just because others have a shiny new designer product). And out of all of these things, what bothered me the most: Will there be an expected harm to my child from not going to that show? And if so how can I prevent that or reduce it at least?
So, like many times in my life, I once again found that the answer lies in rephrasing the question or more accurately asking the right one!
And what do I think the right question is? Simply: “How can I raise and bring up a child, in a way that not going to that show would be her own personal choice?” Maybe and just maybe we can start with Mahatma Gandhi’s wise phrase:”Be the change you desire to see in your children”
And if you ask me this video is a great beginning (recommended to watch with your children)