Feeling this motherhood business is a little too big on you? Desperate? Tired and exhausted? I have two disclosures for you my dear, Good one and bad one
Which one would you like to start with?
Someone to walk with.
How to choose a Mentor?
It’s true, I do have two things to tell you, good news is you’re not alone!
Bad news is dido. And why is it bad news? Because on some days you will need a shoulder to lean on, an attentive ear to listen to your troubles, someone to walk with. But wherever you go, you will find women who love you with all their heart but are preoccupied with their son’s fever, their daughter’s exam, extinguishing fires, finding solutions and performing about a million other tasks.
And let’s just say you will find a free friend to pour your heart on to and ask for advice, no one can guarantee she will hold any answers for you.
So next step is probably familiar: a professional,
Yes a paid professional that for a short while is all yours.
But then a new problem rises..Who do you choose?
The famous mentor you just saw her commercial online last night? Or the therapist your mom can’t stop raving about? Or maybe the articulate persuasive mentor that was at that PTA meeting last month?
How do you know which one to choose? Who should you walk with?
Soon I’ll provide you with answers and tips, but before that – time-out! If you haven’t read this post (link to world’s greatest mentor post) It’s important for me that you try and read it so you will know for sure how much I trust..You. Why? Go in and see for yourself :))
How do you choose? A few answers from my personal experience:
OH, The places you’ll go (Dr. Seuss)
First and foremost before making any decision,
Focus on a target, ask the universe for some help (and be open to accept it :))
And then make the most important step of all: Go out and look! So many times we use the phrase: “I would love to find… (Fill in the blank – Partner, Job, purpose) but we tend to forget that we have to go out and look for it! And don’t be mistaken my dear, searching isn’t necessarily an obsessive stressful action, like losing your car keys. Just like a new pregnant lady becomes much more aware of other pregnant women, baby carts, and a crazy newborn clothing sales. Awareness will make you much more attentive to your surroundings and your need will echo from every direction.
Inner attentiveness – Daring to feel.
Let’s just say you hit the road, equipped with awareness and the universe answered your prayers(or at least that’s what you think) and you stumble upon a man, women, method or belief – What now? How will you know that this is the right path for you?
My answer is ridiculously simple – Just feel it, Allow yourself to feel. Our body constantly “tells” us what our soul thinks about one thing or another. There are certain things that shrink us down and others that loosen us up. relaxation usually provides us with calm, happiness, comfort. and shrinkage? A little less. What usually happens after the listening part is listening to yourself, just stop, and allow your body to provide you with an answer to the question: Is it this man? This women? Is this method right for me? And no, I don’t necessarily rule out anyone, any method or belief but every single person on this planet has a purpose (other than people who make a cynical, manipulative bad use in human need and pain) But what can be great for your mother , your best friend or even half of the galaxy won’t necessarily help you. So let go of all the promises, put aside what anyone else said (“he’s wonderful, she’s great, that method changed my life”) and examine yourself by yourself – Denying what your soul tells you with your body will probably lead to disappointment and that’s the last thing you need.
Butterflies in your stomach – Good or Bad?
Probably by now you will ask (and for a good reason), Maybe my sense of happiness from relaxation is just an illusion, while grasping to the familiar . And maybe shrinkage indicates the need to leave your comfort zone and the desired change and symbolizes a new beginning?
You know what dear? I believe we shouldn’t confuse “Butterflies in your stomach” that indicate excitement or natural fear between a full shrinkage of the soul that gives an alert: Something isn’t good here!!
Confusing? Right. Inner attentiveness and self examination are processes that take a little bit longer than most.
so in the meantime, here are some useful tips that will light up your way and help you find the man, women or method that will really bring value to you.
First tip – One way?! People, women, or methods that rule out others indicate a problem, because whoever really knows the human soul also knows that people are different from one another and their path for enlightenment, connection or insight is different (both with its messages and their delivery) So if you have met an individual that preaches against others but keeps reminding you that there is ONE right path (and faith may have it that it’s his path) see it as a big warning sign!
Second Tip – connections. connections. connections. Good methods, wise insight, people that are truly enlightened, are usually one’s who can create great synergy with other methods, different insights and other enlightened individuals. Knowledge enriching more knowledge, contributing to mutual growth and connects puzzle pieces – worth its weight in gold.
Third tip– If you walk the walk, talk the talk? Know this one? There are mentors, spiritual advisors, religious leaders or advisors that have mastered lecturing, teaching, or giving advice but in fact don’t practice the same teachings they offer others. Eventually it isn’t such a bad thing, because certain truths, knowledge or methods can be very useful even if the mentor doesn’t live by it, but I personally prefer learning from those who have tried their method and knowledge personally on themselves, why? because only theoretical knowledge (as much as it’s true) isn’t as useful as implementing it. Because implementation is the what confronts that method with reality, and that is the true test of its validity. The best inventions come from trial and error, corrections and improvement.
Fourth and most important tip– I’m back to the beginning, good mentor, enlightened individual, wise counselor will bring you back to yourself. and they will assist you with bringing out your inner mentor, the one who will always be there for you.
To your success,