Mommy I am is a web based home made for sharing, relating, supporting, embracing new ideas ,learning, examining, chatting and so much more… and yes, it’s a bit hard to describe all of the ideas, pictures and videos (and even advertisements:) in one short outline to describe exactly what makes this website what it is- But I believe that there are three fundamental subjects integrated throughout this website, inside and out.
The first – A New Purpose
Once when I still a young mother I read an article in a women’s magazine where young career driven women who had just recently became new mothers were interviewed, and they all as one, spoke about the great conflict motherhood has brought them.
One one hand motherhood gave them strength, depths of love and emotional intelligence they never knew existed, but on the other the burden of responsibility, the need to provide for their children and family 24/7 has made them an empty vessel, tired, beaten and exhausted. In fact, most of them felt they have lost their former purpose – As women, as humans, as professionals.
In my native language a headline arose: “Ei-Mahoot” which means: “Without essence nor purpose”. means purposeless. And I looked at that headline and I completely identified with that sense of burden as a new mother myself. Suddenly I had an epiphany. I realized something that completely changed my life In my mother tongue “Ei” means “Without” but it also means “Island” and then I closed my eyes and imagined a beautiful island, with golden shores and turquoise seas, an Island of Purpose – just like that, simple. This genius yet simple understanding seeped through – Every Mother is: An Island of Purpose. And out of that, with her own hands, she can create for herself and her family an island of purpose, of happiness, action and growth, she can raise a light tower that spreads its light to the distance and alert her if, god forbid, enemies come past, she can make a harbor where others ships may arrive from faraway lands, magical and fascinating, she can create a steady wave breaker protecting them through stormy weather, she can share, approach, and unite all of the household, from her spouse up to grandparents towards forming an island of purpose. And yes, I’ll admit, up until that moment I couldn’t really understand why did creation took it upon itself to make me a mother, and as many women of my generation I was sure it was a part of an coincidental evolutionary decision, and out of this era we will raise our children from an equal ground and share the creation of mutual purpose…But that moment was a turning point for me! From which I decided to explore my motherhood from every possible angle, opened every door in my mind and soul, removed every thought and emotional lock, and just let it happen, being completely present in my life.
The second – Broken Wings
“Be the change you wish to see in your child” (Inspired by Mahatma Gandhi)
Kids aren’t born with broken wings. When they’re born, everyone without exception have a pair of delicate, spectacular, enlightened… and fragile wings. Because this is the way of creation: the Newborn is always delicate and soft while strength is a process, moment after moment, day after day. Just like building a castle in the sand without losing hope that a big wave will come crushing down upon it destroying days of hard work. Few children reach adulthood with strong wings and the sad part is most teenagers have broken or disfigured wings that are without use. Who is responsible for it? Sometimes it’s life, sometimes it’s the environment, but mostly , it’s actually us: Their closest circle, Mom, Dad, Older brothers and other family members. And yes, sometimes it happens even with all of the good intentions to protect them or save them from pain and hardship, but cross my heart, by examining ourselves deep down it will reveal that its derived from our own personal place, from our deepest fears, our darkest black holes, from the place we are stuck at, from our own broken wings.
So what do you do? Become the change you want to see in your child, Live life as we want to see them live their adult life, ask ourselves every day: Is this how I imagine my daughter living? My son doing? If the answer is no..then act! raise ourselves, improve ourselves, heal our broken wings, strengthen our children’s wings and go flying- together!
The third – Stone circle
Yeah I know! some days tasks seem impossible, your to-do list keeps growing bigger and for every check mark two new ones turn up.
And we look at our own mothers and wonder how the hell did they manage to raise 5 or 6 children while we want to rip our hair off with only 1 or 2… And of course we remember counting to ten and try to remember what’s important in life, those yoga classes from last summer and those breathing exercises, but sometimes it feels like it’s completely out of our control, and every task adds to our stress levels which makes it hard to function properly, like a spreading virus threatening to ruin every good cell in our body, and yes it’s no secret, everyone has moments where she looks at old photos of herself, young girl on the beach, smiling, hugging with friends, beer bottle in her hand, and it’s hard not to wonder, why the hell did I need all of this?
So Cheer up beloved mothers- No one is truly alone in this motherhood mess :)) And even from the stone age we women knew how to create our own rock circles. Circles where we sat on moon lit nights, around the tribe fire passing information, sharing insights, bringing up ideas, sharing feelings and getting smarter and wiser – until the female knowledge circle became a circle of wisdom and power – The circle of motherhood wisdom. But what do we do in our era where genuine rock circles, campfires and moon lit walks are less common..? Find other ways to share, spread and assist – just like this website, like reading these very words. My pals for this journey, I raise a virtual glass to all of our successes!
Dafnis and the I’m Mommy site team