So how can we evoke interest amongst our children?
Or in other words: What do you do with an entire identity that is based on one sentence:
“But moooom, really, Why do you even think I care?”
Secrets from the persuasion world.
Why do you think I should even care???Sounds like a drag?
Well yes, this sentence is definitely tricky, sometimes it isn’t said explicitly, sometimes it’s just an expression that says it all, and sometimes it’s a hidden evasion or sophisticated procrastination. But tricky as it may be if you ever heard that sentence you probably know the feeling that surrounds us as a reaction: “Oh my, what kind of child did I raise? How did this happen? After All of my hard work, my efforts and time spent? where’s the consideration?? compassion? does he care? and maybe it’s not just me? Maybe it’s this generation? That thinks only of themselves with no consideration for others? But where does it all go? And how can we have a world of egocentric adults?” But wait a second, before you bring this world to its end, hold on, take a deep breath and let’s examine the situation from a different angle- C’mon, let’s do some business, Motherhood business (And if the connection between motherhood and business is still not clear you are more than welcome to read about it here)(Link to your bomba basta post)
First angle- You first!
“And why do you think I should care about that???” Once, In one of many lectures I listened to about marketing, sales, and persuasion one of the lecturers used (If memory serves me right it was Rosin Rosenblum) one of these sentences to challenge us so we understand our client. Well in fact the task was to divide up to couples, where on one side is the marketer (salesman) and the other has the simple yet surprisingly irritating task of repeating the same question over and over and over again: “And why do you think I should care?” You know what? As this exercise went on the goal became perfectly clear: We all realized that we can never persuade anyone to do anything we are not 100% certain about ourselves! And the only way of succeeding that exercise (Without going insane) is going on and on and on and on until…we find the big WHY, which is why it should be interesting.
Second angle- Everything goes!
This exercise was so incredibly difficult, and during that time all I could worry about was how this question will get more and more complicated the more people I will go through, after 10- 15 people asking us the same annoying question, and especially since every single one of them would have about a million different reasons why they should say the sentence: “Well, you’ve intrigued me!” so you are very lucky my dear, since the average household only has about 2-3 kids – tiny troubles :))
As it turns out, during the task and the contemplation following it, one of the ways that can help us deal with the task is embracing a surprising thought process called- Everything goes!
And what do I exactly mean by the phrase “everything goes”? simple as that- everything or almost everything to be exact is acceptable. and obviously by saying “everything goes” I don’t mean to include violence of any sort, harming other, trampling on another, breaking the law or any other familiar atrocities. I surely don’t mean offering bribe (any form of it) threats, punishment , positive or negative reinforcement and other parental tactics used that their benefits and methods are questionable.
But on the other hand, world-wide research on the topic of volunteering has proven that a simple act such as giving (where we would expect the usual response of wanting to do good for someone else with no return)would be the motivation for individuals to volunteer for different tasks, and even volunteers that delve in the field for many years, when asked why do they volunteer, they replied the following: An attempt to diminish loneliness, meet/ interact with different people and developing new friendships, societal acceptance and a desire to be appreciated, a great feeling of self worth and importance(I’m worth something), following the heard (everyone else volunteered), wanting to make a difference, professional experience(form of internship), mingling, meeting influential people, climbing the social scale and even getting a new job.
Do all of these answers necessarily hurt the value that volunteering holds? Probably not.
There is no use of ignoring a strong need even if the motives are not pure, beautiful and works with our own values! Ignoring the emotions and needs of others by pushing them to the margins of society has proven it’s bitter results. So if another individual can satisfy his own needs while helping others, by doing something nice, beneficial and helpful – I personally don’t care.
Third and last angle – Know your costumer!
There is no good way of marketing or selling anything to anyone without knowing them really well, and understanding what drives them and what will help him act? What will stop him? What will make him happy? What will help him make others happy? So in the business world it is not a simple task to do, but hey ,in your personal basta things are much simpler, right? Because for god sake’s who knows your clients better than you??? And yes, if you think that lately you hardly know him…Give me a break and think again :)) its only a matter of stopping. observing. thinking. and at the end of the day: It is your child, your daughter, the same one you breast fed, you walked to preschool, that you taught how to walk.
And last but not least, if by this point you’re wondering what does marketing, sales and motherhood have in common? Well you are more than welcome to stop by this post (Link to your bomba basta post)
To your success,