I really want to create more happy days for my family, with a little less negative thoughts and a little more positive attitude-But where the heck do you start?
Negative Thoughts Super-highway
(Or, Where is the police when you need it?)
Welcome to the Great Questions club!
Surely we all know these great quotes such as:
“The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present!”
Or much more charming words of the Dali Lama:
“There are two days a year where you can’t do anything. One is called yesterday and the other one is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day- To love, To believe, To do, and especially to live.” So how come we full heartedly agree with these quotes but when it comes to our every day routine they are so hard to implement? Maybe a part of the answer is in understanding our thoughts, the one’s running around in our head all day without any direction or order… Did you know that the average person thinks about a Thousand thoughts a day? Really.
Not that I really know how they checked that data but it comes up in so many respectable books and magazines that I assume there’s a grain of truth in it (And between you and me, even a quarter of that number seems like a whole lot of thoughts a day) But the most interesting data is that most of our thoughts (some say about 80%) are negative!
And so we feel even better about ourselves: Please guess how many of those thoughts are new and how many are recycled? The answer, how should I put gently, really blows! About 95% of our thoughts are recycled and only 5% are new thoughts.
So if we recap for a moment we will get to a very simple but gloomy conclusion:
Most of our thoughts are recycled AND negative! Shortly, may god help us.
Wait, What comes first? The chicken or the egg?
And if everything I wrote earlier wasn’t enough, then wait a minute, we didn’t even get to the real “good” part: According to most studies and new teachings (The ones who aim to understand the human psyche) Actions come before Thoughts, In other words, Thoughts are the ones who create feelings and reactions and not the other way around. Meaning: I first think, then I feel, and only then I react (because or despite of our thoughts) And if most of our thoughts are negative, then our negative actions are derived from that… what a trap! And if we add the accumulating affect to this, which means, let’s say a thought went through your head like this one: “It’s not fair that no one in this house washed any dishes because there’s a chance none of them care about me and ignore my requests” And let’s pretend this very wonderful and helpful thought keeps rolling around in your head in different variations, It’s most likely to assume that slowly anger inside of you will build and rise, until the moment some innocent by standard in your house will ask: “Mom, what’s for dinner?” Well we both know that the answer he will get will have little to no connection with his question :))
Don’t be discouraged, There’s still hope!
So what, Did I just stop by today to discourage you? You think??? Duh, Is that how you know me? Well then, what do you do? First, like many other areas in life, even here there’s no magic solution and there’s just a lot of things we have to acknowledge and know we can’t necessarily get full control over, and by acknowledging that we are almost half way there. But the real news in my opinion, is another extra thing I discovered (And tried myself) is that there is a way to control our thoughts, “Forcibly” block our repeated unhelpful thoughts with varieties of proven techniques and regulate our brain and transform it to consciously create creative workable helpful thoughts, meaning consciously influencing our thoughts!
So, Think about it, OK?
To your successes and mine!